My Guardian Angel!
My first trip to Austin to see my friends was approved. I was flying on southwest airlines this time to go visit. I was excited because I felt halfway normal. I even got to board early for special health reasons, bonus! Mainly because I could not lift my arm above my head yet to put my bag up there but thats ok. At least the leakage under my arm had stopped and the pain was gone. I still had my hair so that was cool too, although I was assured it would start falling out around day 14. I was at day 10. When I got on the plane I recognized a girl from college. We were both surprised at the fact that we were both not in college that semester. The cool thing about UT was that they let me take the semester off no questions asked. I sat next to her in the aisle, she was in the middle and there was a guy probably in his twenties at the window. I noticed he was reading a book about being a youth pastor. Anyway we started talking and chatted the entire way there. The flight is super short so it didn’t take us long to get there. When we were walking out and in the airport the man that was sitting by us said “Alison” I turned around and he told me that he had heard me tell my friend about my cancer and he said that his girlfriend had cancer and she beat it and was doing well and he said I just know that you are going to be ok. How strange I thought but nice. When he left my friend said “how did he know your name?” I thought she must have said it and she said “no I never said your name!” That was pretty cool. I thought he must be someone special and that definitely made me feel better about things. What was so hard about having cancer at a young age is that you don’t have control over what is going on, and your future is questioned and unknown. It was like life was on hold and it took me a while to realize I could move on. Anyway that weekend I enjoyed being back in Austin and seeing everyone. I was in a sorority at the time so I went to their meeting to see everyone and let everyone know what was happening with me and why I was gone. That was pretty tough. I remember not getting much of a response and thinking its probably because when you tell people you have cancer they don’t really know what to say to you. I flew home the next day, and was super sad to go back to my then reality. Missing everyone and college life. I appreciated being able to stay home with my parents and get treatment but I was emotional often. That morning I woke up to return home I noticed a bunch of hair on my pillow! Agh! I mean I knew it was coming but nothing can prepare you for that. My doctor nailed it though, it was 14 days to the tee. I didn’t wash my hair I just put it up in a clip for my trip home. I knew what was coming though. I had my wigs so I was prepped but still that sucked. That night I decided I was going to control this part and I sat in a recliner in the living room with a brush and literally brushed my hair until all that was coming out was out. I have pretty thin fine hair but it seemed like a ton when it was actually coming out. Now what is super weird is that your head feels tingly while this is occurring, and not all the hair comes out. I had some stragglers that wanted to stay in, but it wasn’t enough to really look normal, not even close, so the next day we went to another wig store and they used an electric razor to shave the rest off and then out I left with a wig. I had two, one looked less like barbie doll hair but I was super self conscious about it all, so I pretty much wore hats with my wigs, which in February was not a huge deal. I had a UT ball cap, and then a black hat and a brown hat. LOL. It was done. The dreaded hair loss was done. You know it really made things kinda easy. Didn’t have to wash or fix my hair, etc. I was feeling pretty good, pooping normal, had decent energy. I was still taking those online classes at TCC and that was ok. I was rebuilding until my second chemo. Overall I felt optimistic, and remembering my guardian angel!